Early Day (^^,)

Today, I started my day really early (^^,) I mean not because I had to, but just because I wanted to, and was able to XD

Well last night I slept really early (^^,) I was in bed by 10:30! I just read a bit of Sabriel then fell asleep instantly! Partly because it was a very tiring day due to the elections. >.< Sunday night, I had my Sunday syndrome and was wide awake until around 2 AM. I woke up at 7, then went to vote, where we had to spend precious time looking for our line. Then we spent 3.5 hours in line. Then we had lunch, then went home, and I worked for over three hours, did some meditation, then studied for Nihongo. After dinner time I was really sleepy already, so I shut down my computer and watched “The Indian Witch Hunt” at Nat Geo, then watched the Wanderlei and Liddell match in UFC Unleashed. Then I washed up, read a bit of Sabriel, then slept.

So, I was awake at 6:06 (^^,) 

I brushed my teeth, washed my face, chugged down Gatorade (ganun kainit ang panahon - I wake up thirsty), then practiced kihon and kata, then went to do yoga. Before 8 AM, I was already having boiled eggs for breakfast (^^,) Nice start (^^,)

As Awake as Morning

Last night after kendo, I worked some more, then had dinner while catching up on Bleach. When I stopped the last time, I finished the episode after the battle of Ichigo and Grimmjow - but since that was like ages ago, I’ve been playing the last few episodes before that one, and last night I was at episode 118 and 119 and I totally totally love the battle between Ikkaku and Arrancar 13, when ***spoiler*** Ikkaku released his ban kai and was able to defeat the Arrancar. I was also able to recall when Ikkaku first met Ken-chan and Yachiru and how they came to be in the same squad.

After a while I was starting to get sleepy so I decided it was best to read a bit then go to sleep, so I can start early today. However, several minutes after I closed my eyes, I found my body achey and agitated, not really because of kendo, but because my mind was SO AWAKE and it has been playing different kind of music at the same time, and has been flashing various scenarios, both those from my memory and those conjured by my head. I slowly opened my eyes and realized I was as awake as morning and that it was useless to keep pretending to sleep. >.<

Since I didn’t want to get out of bed and wake myself even more, I just logged on through my phone and checked some stuff, and impulsively sent a message about my insomnia >.< Immediately after that, I fell asleep >.< What the. 

My sleep was fitful, though, and I woke up tired and slightly anxious. 

Irregular Eating

I keep forgetting to write. 

Last Tuesday, before I packed my things and went over to my sister’s place, my mom said she noticed my recent unusual eating habits. She said I always eat late and eat like a dying person. She was guessing perhaps it’s about some stuff in my head that I’m anxious about. 

I realized then that my eating habits have become quite “irregular” and I frequently feel nauseous. :T

Still experiencing it now. But I’m grateful that I’ve also been feeling a little tired so I get to sleep at night, around 1 AM, so it’s not as bad as my insomnia-week when I would fall asleep at 4, 5, or 6 AM. 

Today, I just felt like hiding from everyone, like going AWAY for the next four weeks or so. And just be by myself. I just feel like hiding and disappearing for a bit. 

Right now, I am guessing it is partly due to my Plan-related anxiety, plus I had anxious thoughts about work, plus there is a growing need in me to get away from the Third Seat, or just return things to how they were before, before all these… minty moments. 

However, in reality, I cannot just hide away, and I have work to do, and another work to do, and the Plan has yet to be fulfilled, and I have to face whatever happens after, and I have to deal with it if there is no opportunity to actually do it, among millions of other things to do. 

I am keeping my running shoes in sight. 

3 AM

I would like to think that it’s getting better. 

Sunday, or Monday, I slept at 6 AM.

Monday, or Tuesday, I slept at 4 AM.

Last night, or this morning, I slept at 3 AM. 

Later, I intend to sleep by 1 AM at the latest. 

What’s with the insomnia… apart from the frequent occurrence of the magic of cherry blossoms. 

Sleeping Disorder

Last night, or this morning, I slept at 4 AM.

Sleeping troubles again. 

I am hoping it’s a masked excitement for something great happening

Or maybe it’s all about the plan. The anxiety. >.<

@_@

I slept at 6 AM this morning. Was up all night T.T

I guess partly it’s the plan, plus the magic of cherry blossoms, plus my own struggles, plus the start of another work week (as of now, though, some ideas are brewing in my head). 

A Turn of Events

It seems I have found a source of inspiration, though I know not what it is, yet. But it seems like it is springing from this state of anxiety that I am in. I guess last night I couldn’t sleep because the mild anxiety that came with the insomnia was brewing as the source of new inspiration. I am not sure how that is all supposed to work in a positive and inspiring manner, so I guess it is best to just wait and see. In the meantime, I need to focus on what has to be done. My daily morning “commitments” are still regularly being done, no matter what time I slept the night before and whatever my mood is for the day. I think this helps me focus and stick to my plans and make decisions more easily about things. 

As for the anxious state that I am in, I guess it will have to wait until it has fully evolved into something much more inspiring in form. 

Wide Awake @_@

Yes. 

At this time.

It’s almost 4. 

And I still intend to wake up at 7 for some morning commitments and then work and then after-work commitments. (Gambatte.)

…

…

…

Okay. I have decided. I will go to bed NOW and sleep NOW. And tomorrow I wake up on time and do what I need to do. I mean later. Hehe.