Pretty Little Thing

Kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

>.<

(unsure)

Suddenly, A TV Room

I’ve been so busy and preoccupied, but it has all been fun. Especially all those times when I a fixing my things, or when I am in class, or when I am studying, or when I’d be hanging out downstairs with the family. 

Anyway, I will be posting a few more photos - the last ones taken from the old house. This was one was taken I think last Sunday, the last weekend spent there. By this time, almost all the furniture have been taken out, but because the cable connection was still there that time, there was nothing in the living room except my dad’s TV and his TV chair, and an electric fan. This is why he never slept in the new house until we all completely moved out. XD Suddenly, it’s like a super empty TV room. 

First Day of Work

So it’s my first day of work in the new home ^.^ I didn’t work yesterday - I was cleaning and moving things and arranging my space all day. I moved here Monday night, after working in the empty house and saying goodbye to the trees and the house itself.

For some reason, I easily felt at home even on my first night ^.^ 

I also feel that when I left the old house, I left many other mental and emotional baggages ^.^

Echoes

Yes, echoes. XD

Everything has been transferred to the other house. All that’s left here are my computer, computer desk, and chair. And electric fan. And everything that has to do with my internet connection. Tomorrow the lines will be transferred so until today, I work here. 

Because the house is empty, everything echoes!! Even my typing and when I put things on the table. Then tonight, I will go back to the other house and sleep there.

Later I will say my goodbyes to the trees and to the house >.<

Cozy Home

Just got home from… home XD

I mean I just got home to our current ohme with my dad. We drove my mom to the other house. I also brought some of my stuff already and measured where I will place my bed. I also chose a curtain for my room and decided where to place the TV and other stuff. 

I also discovered a black cat (Black Cat!) at the corner of the street. He was calling out like my friend Cosi, and I think he also glared at me. I have yet to be sure though XD

The other house feels cozy already (^^,) Perhaps it’s also because it’s the first time I went there at night, plus the wind outside was cold, so everything felt pleasantly summery (^^,) 

Tomorrow morning, the moving-truck will take everything already except my computer and everything connected to my internet connection. So tomorrow after class, I will probably go home to the other house, then come here to work, then go home to the other house to sleep. Tuesday morning, the cable and internet lines will be transferred. So, everything else that’s left here will be taken there early Tuesday morning. 

Tomorrow evening I will say my farewell to the house, and to the backyard trees T.T Huling sleep ko na pala dito tonight *_* The room that housed all my personalities for the past nine years. *sigh* Hehe biglang nag-emote XD Sana the other house will witness better relationships and better people ^.^ 

Finally, Charlie’s XD

So finally, nakapunta na ako ng Charlie’s XD Friends from everywhere have gone there and asked me if I’ve tried it, because it’s just a few minutes’ walk from our current house. However, ako yung malapit, ako yung never pang nakapunta. So last night after kendo (there was shiai and it was my first time to fight with a guy, some nice person named Jackson; I lost after what seemed to be ages of being inside a Pugon because of the heat), Allan, Ziggy, my sister, and I went because Zig wanted burgers, and we wanted to eat someplace near lang because my sister still had to work and I had to pack. 

So, I got the Angus with fries and it is Totally Happy Food XD 

Books

A huge maleta of books is sooo heavy. Nararamdaman ko na minumura ako ng maleta ko XD Well at least the books are packed, along with old art stuff, and DVDs, CDs, and small random things that I inserted here and there. Only my Fruits Basket manga (hey I just mentioned this in an FB message a few seconds ago) na lang ang nakalabas na books. And the Japanese book I am currently using on top of my official book from class. And Good Omens which I am re-reading. 

Uhm, wait. Now that I checked again, there are yoga books and magazines pa pala and more Japanese books. Anyway saka na yun. ANG INET. So maliligo muna ako. 

But I am pleased that my packing is so neat and organized (^^,)

*anxious* >.<

I just sent a text message about That Particular Bag of Stuff. I am so anxious, so anxious. T.T

Last Few Shots - Front Yard

Last Friday, as I waited for my sister to pick me up for class, I took some photos of the front door, the front yard, the garage, and the upper part of the house ^.^ I’m not posting everything though, because medyo magulo na yung ibang parts XD A lot of things are put out in the garage kasi for the garage sale. Then yung front yard maraming plants for transfer na and for selling and giving away ^.^ 

Farmville Farmville

I just finished attending to my farm and buying new stuff and visiting my neighbor’s farms, when I realized that I am also wearing a Farmville shirt (lmao) XD

Game Console in My Heart

Wii, PS, and PSP - Packed. 

Packed them separately in my “My Heart is Going to Burst” bag, carefully wrapped in soft shawls XD I remember buying that bag with Kenchan in mind >.< And heart. XD

So, Sino si Sean?

Last week, we all went to the other house to check out the painting jobs and anything else that needs to be taken care of. I wandered into the backyard and found some can of paint, several pieces of wood, and some ropes and wires. Among the pieces of wood, I found this:

To Be Continued

So, hindi na nasundan yung first batch of things that I packed XD Bukas ulit. I’m tired na. I’ve taken out already my biggest traveling bag (with flower wheels) and will pack na my Wii, my books, Mihara-san and all his faces and props, Reina-san and all her stuff, various decorative items, my bogu, swimwear, craft materials, games, among other things. 

Sana mabigay ko na That Particular Bag of Stuff >.< It’s really stressing me out. I am stressed by the idea of having to deal with some emotional turmoil again after the incident. Sobrang natrauma ako talaga last year when I felt like an invisible tie has been severed as I rode away. I bled until I got home, until the following day, until days after that. 

So anyway, (biglang nagkwento) I believe it will be another huge step, a clearing of the path. 

>.<

Got Me Not

I have managed to crawl out 

of your pocket

XD

And I find

what I thought was won 

still quite locked. 

Perhaps it was won, 

but I got it back and now it IS locked. 

(muhaha)

I had to crawl out of that pocket because it was too dark and if I stayed, I wouldn’t have tasted the light of day because I’d just be there all the time - tucked up and nothing else. I can’t really live with that. Especially this long. Because like everyone else, I need to see The Light of Day. Not curled up and shriveled. Kept and cannot be brought out into the open. While I am fully aware what is happening out there. 

And so, I crawl out. 

(And I realized this as I listened to the song and felt Nothing.)

The Tree That I Always Pull At

I will miss this tree T.T Usually when I’m out at the front yard and I am waiting for someone, I hang on to these big leaves and pull and hang on or I will fall. Afterwards my hands would pleasantly smell of leaves. 

Beddings - Packed

So, to add to the shinai, my bedsheets, blankets, my lone blankie, shawls, towels in all sizes, tenugi, and bathrobes are now all packed. I packed them in my HUGE Loft shopping bag, where they placed the traveling bag INSIDE (They have Shopping Bags for Traveling Bags. Neat.).

Then I placed them outside my room, next to my shinai bag and my Frilly Umbrella XD

Will be having my coffee first because my head is starting to ache from coffee withdrawal symptoms. (I cut down on coffee and tea when I got sick and had a sore throat, so I get the headaches every now and then. The last time I had coffee was yesterday afternoon, at Nihonbashi Tei.) 

Slight Fixation >.<

I have started to move on for quite some time, until I have recently realized that there is almost nothing left. Every now and then the memory of honmei would make my face feel like it’s burning, but other than that, all Those Big Emotions have sort of dwindled away. (There would be occasional declarations to the self, though, of what I would be willing to do, but they are Occasional and they are Things That I Do Not Intend to Discuss.)

I am slightly fixating though because earlier there was this tiny tiny tiny moment, which also took place last week, and the week before that, though these other two times were totally not mentioned because I totally brushed them off. It is because my mindset was that it was nothing, plus the absence of Those Big Emotions. Not that they aren’t “nothing” now, but it has somehow SUNK in and now I am slightly fixating. (I am sure though that this will be gone tomorrow or by the time I fall asleep.)

It’s just that I’ve been doing some… catching >.< 

>.<

Home Early

I am home early on a Saturday night. I was home at around 10 pm ^.^ Just had dinner with Allan, Zig, and my sister at Charlie’s XD then went home. 

I really planned to get home early because I really need to pack some of my things already. As of now, the only things I have placed outside my room for bringing to the other house are my shinai. And that’s it XD

*panic*

I have not packed a single thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *panic*

The house is almost empty. And my room and my bathroom are still VERY MUCH FURNISHED and COZY. T.T

I don’t know where to start. 

And I want cookies with fondant and butter cupcakes with icing. T.T

Wake Up

The Morning Sad

So, No More Ohayou

The sun has set on this thing. FOREVER. 

Parang bigla lang akong napuno. Hindi naman kasi pwedeng laging ganito di ba. 

Meron at meron naman kasing pwedeng gawin, but hell, not one thing.

Hindi ako mabubuhay sa ganyan lang. Hindi pwedeng lagi lang ganito.

I need to make space for what’s really worth it. It’s about time. This cannot be prolonged nang ganyan ganyan lang. Nakakapagod na nga, minsan bigla ka pang sasalubungin ng something that magnifies the fact na hanggang ganito na lang. Na para bang, wow ang galing naman nya, tapos ako, wala lang. 

Pffft.

(Sorry ha. Akala mo kasi kung sinong perfect and angelic. Pero ako butas butas sa sungay nya.) 

*maddened* 

>:P

So This is Mine

“You didn’t even care if it got me down.”

Our Home Goes with Kabukiza

So, I just read today that the really old kabuki theatre in Tokyo will be taken down, and that everyone is so sad about it. I felt sad about it too somehow. And then later on my sister and I were discussing about how sad it is that the trees in our backyard will be cut down, to make way for the new homes that will be built (We are currently occupying space big enough for two or three homes.), which means no more backyard. It was sad to think that the birds will no longer have a peaceful hangout T.T Bye bye nature T.T So afterwards, it just occurred to me that this house will be torn down around the same time as the kabuki theatre T.T

Anyway, I have resolved to say my proper goodbyes to the trees and to this house, which has witnessed SO MUCH. So many relationships, friends, beginning, and endings. >.<

So, today, my parents were out most of the time, taking care of the new house, while I worked the day away (naghahabol ng oras dahil sa absent >.<). Tomorrow, the living room and dining sets will be taken out. So, halos wala nang laman ang bahay. Pero yung kwarto ko, punong puno pa >.< (As usual. The last one to pack.) 

No Signs

I woke up this morning all alone in the house, and I found that most of the rooms in the house are half-empty. I went back to mine and everything is still quite in place. As my sister pointed out yesterday, “no signs of moving out.” XD

Well, partly, I’ve been very busy, I got sick, plus I am getting quite stressed out by That Particular Bag of Stuff >.< 

Plus, as long as the internet connection is here, I stay here. >.<

Summerside

Last Sunday, my dad and I went to buy some paint for the new house, and I got mine in Summerside green (^^,)

Initially, I wanted it in Asparagus but the base color for it was not available. Oddly, though, at that time, I have never even seen my room yet XD Anyway I was able to see it yesterday for the first time (^^,) Cozy (^^,) Have yet to figure out where to place things and how to arrange them.   

Haiku Hirugohan

Last Friday, I spent the WHOLE day with my sister (^^,) We had class in the morning, then we went to Haiku for Japanese lunch. We ordered uni sashimi, yasai itame, gohan, agedashi tofu, grilled sanma, and chicken yakitori. (^^,) Happy Haiku Lunch!

After that we went around Greenbelt for a bit, then went home to our house where she indulged herself in Mall World as I tried to clean up my room. She stayed til dinner time, and then left afterward so I was able to finally work >.< 

Saturday was kendo, and I somehow felt that I just might be rising from the dead. Or so I think. Have yet to see. 

Nihongo Class Heals XD

Okay, I KNOW that sounded weird XD

But seriously, my last two classes resulted, or perhaps, preceded, major improvements regarding my health. 

I don’t know if it’s because I’m happy when I’m in class, and I’m excited to learn, and I’m laughing a lot, and I am relaxed at the same time, but I do feel great right before, during, and right after class. So last Sunday, I’ve been sick, right, and I hardly slept Sunday night, and was quite feverish when I went to class Monday morning. After Monday class, I noticed that my temperature became lower, though I was still experiencing bodily pains. By Tuesday, the fever was gone, though my headache remained and my sore throat was worse, and my spasmic stabbing muscle pains still occurred, though less frequently. 

Tuesday night I did my homework, and felt more relaxed, so I was able to sleep, and only woke up about 20 minutes before my alarm went off. Then this morning, I was still having a hard time swallowing solid food, but I had breakfast before class. So, class started, and when we took our 10-minute break, I took my meds, and I realized that the sore throat was just, almost gone. I didn’t have a hard time swallowing my medicine at all. By the time class finished, my bodily pains were gone, and my headache occurs much less frequently than before. 

So, it might just be a coincidence of course Xp But in any case, I was thinking it might be the class because I am really enjoying each one so much (^^,) And usually right after class I just suddenly feel much better from my sickness XD 

So, even if I wasn’t able to go to kendo today (I was planning to, last weekend), okay na rin that I feel better now. I hope I’d be fully well enough to attend on Saturday. But tomorrow, normal skeds na ulit! Full hours plus makeup hours >.< I just hope I get what I will be requesting for *crosses fingers*

*glare*

There is a Siamese cat in our neighborhood, notorious in the neighborhood-cat-community, for being playtomcat. Apart from the fact that we frequently hear him miaowing his feline heart out, we occasionally witness female cats frantically running away from him, or risking their lives being trapped in some tiny opening in a wall or whatever, just to get away from his dominating powers. On one occasion, I was distracted from work by angry miaowing from outside the house, and I found the notorious tomkitty cornering a thin white cat, who was deliberating on risking her neck by jumping from our roof. In the end, she jumped, leaving scratch marks on our windows and kitty poop on the ground (yes she was that terrified), just to get away from him. I looked back up at the notorious chaser, and he GLOWERED at me. 

I think he sees me as some kind of disturbance in his exciting kitty-chase, because whenever he chases a cat near our home and I come out to check on what the miaowing is all about, he gets distracted and the kitty he desires manages to escape for those few seconds. So whenever he sees me, even when he is merely resting (and not chasing anyone), he glares at me that I feel holes burning through my skin. So, I stick my tongue out at him and grin. Sometimes, I happily wave and I think it annoys him even more. 

Kasi naman. OA na ang kanyang desires ha. And when he miaows, para bang Lonely Cat na Lonely Cat ang dating. E lahat ng babaeng pusa dito tinatakbuhan sya. Palayo ha. XD

So anyway, some time last week, as I was waiting for my sister to pick me up for class, I heard some rustling of leaves and I turned to find Mr. Glaring Cat on our garden wall. He was grooming himself and I was about to take a photo when he saw me and glared. 

He lost weight, I noticed. He used to be chubbier and FLUFFIER before. XD Anyway, at least before we move out, I managed to take a photo of my Feline Friend (Feline Fiend). I’m sure he only thinks of me as “Interrupting Idiot” XD

By the way, I think what makes him hate me even more are those occasions when he is emotionally miaowing like an emo-cat, and then I step out of the house, and then he stops, hoping that some female cat is being let out, but then I step out, grin and wave at him. During these times, he glowers at me then walks away, and I can feel cat-cuss-words emanating from him.

Anyway when we move, di ko na sya makikita. UNLESS, he becomes desperate and really lonely and starts checking out the cats there. XD 

Weird Voice

A friend said that the Mercury Retrograde started last Sunday, and that it also predicts sore throats, or “hoarseness,” as they called it. Why do I feel so affected by this >.< My voice doesn’t sound hoarse, though. It just doesn’t sound like me.When I speak, I feel like somebody is “voicing over.” XD 

This means that I can’t do kendo tomorrow T.T I just hope I will be well enough to be able to practice and compete on Saturday >.<

Oyasumi

Will rest na in a while. Apart from feeling a bit more tired than usual because of my illness, I need to rest na rin by Order of Chocolate. Muhahahahahhaa XD 

My Green Cactus

Yesterday my dad and I went to choose and buy paint for some rooms in the new house. Initially, I wanted to have my room just plain white, but after some recommendations from my dad’s friend, I decided to pick green (^^,) 

I realize that my cactus will go well with it (^^,)

O_o

So, I’ve been sick since last night T.T Spasmic stabbing muscle pains every few minutes or so, super sensitive extra warm skin, hellish throat condition, and headaches and dizziness T.T

I am guessing it was because my body suddenly “rested” or let go of all its defenses after last week’s super full schedule, plus there is the stress of moving out, plus the stress of That Particular Bag of Stuff in my room, and the things it entails, plus the line and address transfers and everything, plus the furniture I will need to sell and any new ones I will need to buy. Times likes this, I wish there was a version of Nikaido-san making hot porridge >.<

Anyway, so, I will try to post what I can from the past few days. Hope I get much much better soon >.<

SLEEP :D

It was only last night, as I shut down after the previous blog entry, that I realized how dead I feel in general, and I only feel “sane” and calm and “whole” and happy when I am about to turn off the lights and go to bed. Just those few minutes before bedtime >.< 

Anyway the good thing is, because I went to bed at 9 last night, read a book for a few minutes, then went to sleep right away, I was able to get several hours of sleep. So, since I’ve gotten the SLEEP part, I am feeling better now. I guess I seriously needed plenty of sleep in one go. I remember having a weird dream about someone though. *brush off* It was too unexpected and too weird. But generally, I had a nice sleep and now I don’t feel so dead anymore (^^,)

Night at Nine

Yes. At 9 PM. I climb to bed. 

I hope I feel better soon. Back to my cheerful musical glowing self.

Cycle

I’m a tree that grows hearts

one for each that you take.

Serious Case of Lethargy

Need SPICE

and SLEEP

SPICE and SLEEP

SPICE and SLEEP

Secret Sedatives

WHY am I extra sleepy today T.T

I have a sneaking suspicion that someone slipped super sedatives into my breakfast when I wasn’t looking.

I am extremely sleepy T.T

High Street High

Sunday was great even though I was not able to stick to my schedule ^.^ I woke up around 2 in the afternoon. Around 4, I studied Nihongo and was planning to do yoga at 5. However, Mao and my sister came by to drop off some stuff for the garage sale, and asked me if I wanted to go with them to High Street. The warning signs of SHOPPING flashed through my mind, but I just decided I won’t spend, and went with them. 

Then I bought stuff from Lush. 

Then we went to Gourdo’s for pizza, coffee, and gelato (^^,) I LOVE Gourdo’s pizzas (^^,) And coffee. And gelato. And yes, the pizzas XD

Then we spent quite a long time at Fully Booked, Mao at the music area and my sister and I checking out the books. Checked out Furubaa too but the next episode wasn’t there yet. So I just bought a case for Hinamori and super pretty notebooks. Then we passed by the Coffee Bean before going home around 11. 

I then realized that the whole of High Street emanates with all these pleasant emotions that they make you feel like it’s great to spend and shop XD 

Early Night

Yup early! Been home since about an hour ago. Just had dinner with Allan, Zig, and my sister some place near then went home because my sister still had tons of stuff to do. So now I’m just having coffee and French cookies and will be watching some anime in a while. 

Kendo was okay though I still feel somewhat rotten at keiko. I did keiko with the girls and Jojo-sempai, but my waza was under Takahashi-sensei’s class, and that part I enjoyed. I don’t know if my  kendo is in some kind of… rut. I just feel like I’m so… blah in it. 

Anyway, I hope this phases passes, if it’s a phase. I feel stressed out kasi e >.<

On a lighter note, Nova asked me (Nova is a boy, I just call him that in reference to Nova of Bleach. Yung green.) how I was and I was like “Great!” and I know I meant it, which made it even greater He was asking why but we had to line up again for the second hour of practice. I then realized I wouldn’t know how to explain it in Simple and Safe terms, but then during the last seiza after practice, I realize that I AM feeling great, but I’m also somewhat uneasy/agitated/anxious. And then I remembered my rune and I realized this is the “birth” part, like I’m in “labor” or something, and I have to go through it so that the new path/life/phase can make its way. I believe that I have made the “completion,” though it’s done in my own strange fashion. And I really feel I did. And so now comes the labor and then ultimately, the birth. 

I just wonder what I’m giving birth to. Anyway basta nasa delivery room na ako. No overthinking allowed. One moment at a time. 

A Realized Vision

Sometime in January, I posted an entry about a vision I had of the future. It was about my sister walking by the beach:

And, true enough, I saw her walking by the beach looking exactly like that XD

XD  

Finished!

I’ve now fixed / reorganized next week’s schedule (and finished a pot of green tea - although I’ve started drinking this prior to the OC-schedule-fixing, as I studied Japanese vocab) - just for next week. Let’s see how that will turn out and then I can just make adjustments for the week after that. There are some things I took out from my daily skeds to make space for the classes, but that’s okay because the classes will only run for about two months. I’ll just think of the next class schedule when this one’s over. (Of course I need to pass first >.<)

Today, I wasn’t able to practice, buy cake, and do the home inventory (Will start packing at the last minute, AS USUAL. Maybe the books can be packed ahead, though.) Have moved “cake” and “inventory” to Sunday (good luck). I am so sure that “cake” sounds weird. It’s the movable Cake Day, which originated from 4moggs-of-the-disheveled-bunny, or his office where he is occasionally The Bald Boss. Anyway, my day has been full but I TOTALLY LOVE IT and The Music rocks my world (^^,)

I guess, too, that I feel somewhat “freer” (like that’s a word *sneer*) after the last rune reading and after telling the winds to carry away (more of implied to) what (or whom) I was letting go of. Of course I still have those occasional urges to totally THROW myself (like Wonderland Scones) into it, but the rune totally woke me up, and it helped me ease into the change/shift, whether or not it really existed. I do hope though, I stay fine like this long enough until… everything falls into place. 

Happy Yoga

Tonight was one of those moments when I truly enjoyed my yoga (^^,) I mean, I normally do, but usually as I go about my day, the feeling I got from my practice has already dissipated. Tonight though, (I don’t know if it’s because I did today’s yoga in the evening instead of early morning) I felt much more relaxed and “peaceful” after yoga than I normally do. And it was so great that the feeling has carried over until now, and the activities I did after yoga seemed more fun, or the joy of doing them were sort of, more magnified. (Plus! The bothersome pain on my left shoulder is gone, as well as the pain on my right arm! XD)

Happiness (^^,) Or, as someone would put it, peachness! XD 

So, because of tonight’s happy yoga, I will REARRANGE my entire schedule for next week XD (Ang dumi na ng planner ko I swear. Hindi bale cute naman ichura nya sa labas. Malay ba nilang puro correction strips sa loob XD Note: Ang cute din ng correction wipe.)

So anyway back to yoga and skeds. I am guessing it’s also because it’s a holiday, so I didn’t feel hurried. I admit that sometimes I do the corpse pose at the shortest possible time because I have work to do or I’m just feeling like I need time for other things. So, I will be rearranging my schedule so that I can allot a bigger chunk of time (probably as big as the chunk of chocolate I gave to… itself XD) to my yoga, so that I wouldn’t have to hurry or be distracted by the thought of Time. That’s pretty tough, since my Japanese classes are starting on Monday, and I’d have Wednesdays half day, which means my working hours on other week days are extended. So I’m also thinking of doing my yoga in the afternoon or evening instead of morning, to really avoid feeling hurried. Anyway I will be fixing it this weekend. (^^,) 

Wants <shishishishishishishi>

I think you’re just so pleasant

I would like you for my own

Mihara-san Feeds Cat-Guest…

… and he was so excited that he OVERDID it.

…resulting to an OVERFED CAT…

…and Mihara-san laughs at the OVERFED CAT who can’t even lift a PAW…

O_o

And this is not a case of lust, you see
it’s not a matter of you versus me
It’s fine the way you want me on your own
but in the end it’s always me alone

I had a vision I could turn you right
a stupid mission and a lethal fight
I should have seen it when my hope was new
my heart is black and my body is blue

Mihara-san Visits Toro-san (^^,)

Mihara-san Sings with the Beckoning Kitties

Got Me

Don’t know how you won my heart

’cause I locked it

Neko Sake Set

For some reason, I never took photos of the stuff I bought from Japan before. Or if I did, they are now lost and somewhere in oblivion (Oblivion? Oblivion? Calm down. It’s oblivion not Oblivion.). Anyway, here’s the super cute sake set I got for Maro:

Mihara-san Shares Sushi with One of the Kokeshi Sisters