New Weapon

My brute has a new weapon yay

Packing for Cat-Sitting

Some time in August, I cat-sat for like 3 of 4 days, when I wrote about drinking Maxim coffee and having home made spaghetti. I totally forgot to post a pic of the stuff I brought, or the bag I used It’s the lovely bag I bought from Loft, where they placed my bag IN a shopping bag (I brought my yoga mat with me since I was going to stay with the king cat for quite some time.

Back

i.ph is back; it wasn’t on since yesterday. 

So yesterday morning, it was stormy alright, but I never expected things to turn out like it did. So I went to my 9-12 class, though I got there at 9:30, my feet already soaked because some parts of the Ateneo were already flooded.When I was still in the cab along Katipunan, I already noticed that the flood was at the same level as the sidewalk, so I texted my dad around 10, asking if he can pick me up at 12:15, after my class. 

Around 1 pm, my classmate Erica who lived only at Burgundy texted me that she hopes I’m okay because she crossed Katipunan and saw that the water reached up to a person’s thigh. I also noticed that the trail of cars leaving via Gate 3 haven’t moved for the past hour or so. Little by little, more and more people were staying at the Leong Hall because they were waiting for rides or used the bathroom or came from Figaro at the MVP Building to kill time. Later on, Ateneo staff came with push carts of Monobloc chairs for all of us so we can all sit down.

It turned out that my dad couldn’t get through Katipunan anymore because NOTHING was moving. He waited in traffic for like, ages. Eventually he reached a gas station at the corner of Aurora and Katipunan and considered leaving the car there. However he couldn’t just leave the car at the gas station at Aurora because of obvious reasons. However, after a long time, he managed to find this really nice guy (may he live abundantly for the rest of his life) whose car was parked at the gas station too, waiting for the rains and the flood to subside so he can get through and reach his house somewhere past UP. The guy offered to look after it since he had nowhere to go. Then my dad walked all the way to Gate 2. My phone was running low on battery so we were just texting and I couldn’t accept calls anymore in case we had to keep in touch via mobile longer. Eventually, I managed to walk from Leong Hall to the Ateneo gym, fighting the winds and keeping my black Kitty umbrella from being destroyed, a skill I learned instantly, thanks to the few people walking ahead of me trying to keep their umbrellas’ normal shape. By that time, the lower part of my jeans was really wet and my hair was a mess. I was carrying my bag too and my envelope of reading materials and homework. When I got to the gym, my dad was there, and we exchanged umbrellas so I carried a big green one which won’t easily be destroyed but could sweep me off the ground. I managed, though because it is still heavier than my shinai. (By the way, there was no kendo class because of the storm of course.) So my dad and I walked up to Aurora. I had to wade through flood. (For some reason I found it liberating to walk through all that flood.) Finally we got to car and I thirstily drank the C2 he bought. That was around 4 pm already. 

We got home at 5, because there were hardlyany vehicles along Ortigas. So, warm bath, lunch, nap. I can’t be any more thankful. I am forever grateful. I know. And I guess it was also a blessing that I was able to be zen while I was stranded. 

Will pull together some of my stuff for giving away. 

Goob Mording

So I woke up with a sore throat and a cold.

I’ve had this actually since yesterday, but I thought it was only my lack of sleep and fatigue. So I slept early last night and woke up after 8 hours. I don’t feel feverish anymore, but my head still feels swollen and my throat scratchy.

ANYWAY. I have to be well ASAP because I can’t miss class tomorrow morning and there is shiai in the afternoon, unless I don’t fight. But then again… Okay better not to think about tomorrow yet. It’s only Friday morning and I’ve work to do.

Plateau

I don’t know if it has “plataeud” or disappeared. 

I have been able to sleep well so far this week, although that may also be due to my constant drowsiness which lasts throughout the day. I have also gotten rid of the sudden butterflies in my stomach so I have been eating well. 

Shopping Day

I spent the day shopping with my sister at the Podium I bought dresses and another bag and a wallet to replace my old, (very) dirty one and loads of stuff from the Body Shop I bought so much that they gave me a free gift set We had early lunch at Yaku and had dessert crepes and coffee at Breton in the afternoon before we went to the bookstore as our last stop, where I bought a samurai-themed notebook It’s perfect because I was really looking for the perfect notebook to use for my Japanese-themed scrapbook

It was a really happy shopping day

New Bag

So, my mom was looking for a new bag and I came across a white one with green print and a black neko and an orange text which said “My heart is about to burst.” Ah. Anata. 

Emptied

I realize that little by little, as the days go by, I am unknowingly taking steps to follow what my latest rune has said, only to realize it later on. Other times, as I pause to think of why I feel a certain why and what I can do about it, I find myself already on the path to thawing, or my thoughts actually lead me to it.

Last night after realizing a part of the rune where I should find out what is perpetuating this, I knew what it meant when it said SHED. SUBMIT. SURRENDER. And yes, I realize how difficult it must be. But then again, it was a good thing in a way that I saw how uncertain I must also be, constantly shifting my weight from my one foot to the other. 

In any case, afterwards, I simply refuse to be dragged and fatigued. I have emptied my box of messages. 

As I wrote today’s title, I remembered that what is full must be emptied. Perhaps this is one of those things. I’ve been holding on to its trail for the longest time even when it has long been lost to the weight of the situation’s dust. 

Argh.

My kendo yesterday was bad. 

I know I can’t say that I’ve been having eating and sleeping problems the whole week and I’ve been physically, mentally, and emotionally drained because of my mental and emotional roller coaster ride, but yeah I was all over the place. *SIGH*

Argh. I have to gather all my selves together. I cannot do kendo this way. 

Tenugi wo Kudasai

I woke up this morning, or, I mean this afternoon, and I felt this huge world on my chest, sliding towards my throat, like it would kill me, and then voila. なみだ｡

Well perhaps my version would have been a tenugi. 

“あなたさいごのわがまま

“ねえなみだふくもめんの

“ハンカチイフください｡”

(いきものがかり)

Sleepy Saturday Morning

So I am home because my class was canceled. Good thing I got up late and finished breakfast late and was moving about so slowly due to sleepiness that I was still home when Erica-san sent me a text message that we’ve no class this morning due to an emergency that our sensei had to attend to. 

So sleepy because I slept late and couldn’t sleep right away and was anxious again, and my anxiety was going on and off like crazy. 

My Animal Crossing Bento Set :D

So, I saw this beautiful Animal Crossing Bento Set from a really nice online Japanese store and clicked to buy it! It took quite some time but Asami-san, the person I was getting in touch with via email for the status of my order, was really nice and responded as soon as possible. And yesterday, my bento set came yay! 

So I opened the package and I was welcomed by Tom Nook The set came with an Animal Crossing bag, an Animal Crossing bento box, an Animal Crossing chopsticks container, and a pair of Animal Crossing chopsticks Everything has colorful and fruity details on it, and the chopsticks has all 6 of the town fruits on it All the main characters are present including ROVER!! I remember the first time I played Animal Crossing: City Folk at Wii - I wanted to HUG Rover Especially when I found him seated right next to me on the bus

The Promise of the World

(From the ending theme of Howl’s Moving Castle.)

the smile that waver inside tears

is the promise of the world since the beginning of time

even if now you’re alone, from the yesterday when you were two

glittering today’s arisen

as the day you met for the first time 

you are not inside memories

come as a gentle breeze to graze my cheek 

even after parting in an afternoon, sunshine leaking through leaves

the promise of the world never dies 

now you’re alone, but tomorrow’s limitless

you taught me

the gentleness hidden in the night 

you are not inside memories

you live forever into the melody of a brook, 

in the colour of this sky, in the fragrance of flowers 

あなた

あなたはゆめのなかにいました｡

Dream Dates

Uhm, yeah, LITERALLY. Dates. In my dreams  

I wrote about a dream way back that my sister is supposed to give birth to her child. She was in our house and she was hugely pregnant, then I looked at the calendar beside me and pointed at the date. I told her that was when she will be giving birth. I don’t know if I wrote the actual date that time in my entry, but I won’t mention it now

Early this year I had a dream that James will be returning to kendo on “December 2009″. It wasn’t like something of the future; in my dream, it WAS December 2009 and James showed up and said something about returning at that specific time. 

So last night, it WAS January 2010 in my dream

My sleep lately has been quite restless and this is one of them. So most parts lie forgotten and chaotic in the land of oblivion (Oblivion? Oblivion? ). Anyway, I was at home and it was January 2010, and under the sink of my bathroom was a box with old stuff from the previous Christmas and a baby. Apparently, this baby was left by some visitors who came over “last December 2009″ for a family reunion which was held at our house.

A baby. Like you know, like an INFANT. 

So I have been too lazy to put stuff away so I left the stuff and baby there, untouched. Then at that time in January 2010, I decided to clean up and pulled out the box and set the baby free, like I let him crawl or walk around the house. By then, he was suddenly a toddler, wearing a white shirt and his white diapers. I decided to just let him be since he seemed to have liked being part of our household after all those times he was under my sink

Then I went to my room to make a phone call and I dialled the number of a supposed kareshi. I think I called to tell him I missed him, but then I heard the laughter of my sister and Ikkaku-chan and Denise in the background, and I realized they were having a meeting, and I think Mao was also there, and I knew I should be there but I didn’t go because I think I had to work at home. I interrupted their meeting and I heard them laugh because the kareshi replied in a sort of cheesy manner which amused everyone who heard. 

Later on, I stepped out of my room (yes this is still in dream land. Much to most people’s amazement, I dream in color and I dream in continuous scenarios like it’s all a running series of moving panels) and found Mr. Under-the-sink Baby walking around and then he looked and smiled at me. I smiled back and found my mom looking at me, aghast. She was asking why I took out the baby “just now” and she ought to return it to the parents. I told her not to, because the baby will find it traumatic to suddenly move back to his old home, when he has already found comfort under the sink, I mean in our home. So my mom was resigned to it and it was somehow settled that we’ll let the sink-baby stay with us, although it was more like, can-I-keep-the-puppy sort of thing. And the way he was walking around the house, he was more like puppy than child. 

So anyway, shortly after that, I was in my room, brushing my wet hair, because I have just taken a bath, and suddenly, the kareshi came in and sat on my bed and offered to brush my hair for me. So I glided across the room while sitting on the chair and let him brush my hair. It was a WEIRD scenario because I think he was wearing a  はかま apart from the fact that he is not one to do the brushing for anyone’s hair. Unless… anyway. So. As he did so I closed my eyes and smiled, then heard my sister step in to speak to me, but she saw me smiling and closing my eyes, so she decided to just speak to me later on. 

Next scenario, I just “woke up” and came to a different kitchen/dining room, and found my mom unpacking kitchen things. I sat down by the table, realizing that everything was white. The walls, floors, and ceilings were all white, as well as all the tables, chairs, and other surfaces. I ate bread with grape jelly and butter and I was vaguely thinking of the kareshi, who was somewhere close by or was about to arrive or something. I realized then that everything looked different because it was the new house we moved into. I got a little shaken by how much has changed so I woke up. 

Yeah finally I woke up  

What’s strange though is that we really ARE likely to move around Jan or Feb of next year. So it’s like one of those dreams when there’s a certain date or time, and what’s amazing is that it kind of matched actual plans. Anything other than the moving-into-a-new-home-part is just a WONDER to me now. They were all fascinatingly VIVID though. As in VIVID. Even the blueness of my hair brush was totally clear as well as the sensation of the bristles against my head.

Dreams from nights before last one are all a blur, but my sleep has been quite restless. And then there’s the mild to moderate anxiety attacks as I wrote about a couple of days ago I think. In general though, as I said, I leave it all up to the Universe. 

:)

あなた

だいすきです｡

Symptoms

Lately I’ve been feeling drained and tired a lot, like more than usual, and my eating and sleeping habits are kind of weird. For the past couple of nights I’ve been waking up a few times and I’d wake up feeling tired and agitated. Every now and then during the day, I’d get butterflies in my stomach. 

Anxious :T

Last Year

Around this time last year, I was preparing for my trip to Japan

I remembered one moment, like, a Moment. It was so odd but it was also so nice. I would have killed for that a year before. But back then, right at that moment, I didn’t realize how nice it was. 

In any case, I didn’t budge because I thought what I had back home was real. I’ve no regrets, though. At least I knew I did what was right. I was polite at the store, and I didn’t light a stick at the Cerulean.

いま､ あたらしいにほんじんです｡

Kaya Pala

Ermm….. hindi “that’s why” - it’s “I can, after all.” Lol.

(lmao)

I just remembered a while ago as I lay in bed.

Yes, I already climbed to bed an hour early before bedtime. However, I realize I am wide awake with my heart and mind even wider awake, so I got up and decided to drink some chocolate milk while I blogged on a couple of blogs and visited some farms

So, I remembered something. 

Last Saturday, I was as tired as hell and was just waiting for my timing so I can take a tiny break from practice. Seriously,my side hurt and I felt weak.

HOWEVER. Why in the world would I give up my spot So I carried on. And I managed. I lasted. So, I told myself. See, kaya pala. Well, kaya pag talagang kailangan kayanin Hehe. It’s just nice to know too that I can manage after all, even when I thought I couldn’t

Standing Right Smack in The Middle

Isa

The Standstill Rune

“You may find yourself entangled in a situation to whose implications you are, in effect, blind. You may feel powerless to do anything except submit, surrender, even sacrifice some long-cherished desire. Be patient, for this is the period of gestation that precedes rebirth.

“You may be experiencing an accustomed drain on your energy and wonder why: a chill wind is reaching you over the ice floes of old unmoded habits. Holding on can result in shallowness of feeling, a sense of being out of touch with life. Seek to discover what it is you are holding on to that perpetuates this condition, and let it go. Shed, release, cleanse away the old. Doing so will bring on the thaw.

“There is, however, no reason for anxiety. Submit and be still, for what you are experiencing is not necessarily the result of your actions or even your habits, but rather arises from conditions about which you can do nothing. What has been full must empty, what has increased must decrease… To surrender is to display courage and wisdom.”

*I drew this rune tonight. I now leave it all up to the Universe. 

Pause

I sense a certain kind of fear, a very unusual one.

When I close my eyes to rest, I see an old picture fading faster than ever. 

I never mean to cause anyone pain. And so I wait. 

Just today I wondered. So after the last step taken, what happens next?

I don’t know what’s coming. I don’t know WHICH is coming. I just wait. 

For different possibilities.

I ache, ever so slightly, for different reasons. 

I refuse to lift a finger, yet I hold my breath. What of the coming days. 

いま

“なにもいわないでやがてぼくらはわかりあうから

“いまはただだきしめて

“すべてをつつんでいるから｡”

-くつずれ

"ごめん, ごめん"

だれかのことをおもう｡

(lmao)

“Napaka-waste of time nung pinadala mo na youtube on prepositions. Pangturo sya sa mga chicano na hindi marunong mag-ingles na tumakas lang across the border into the US.” 

-oneesan, on the link I sent na dapat kong aralin supposedly.

(lmao)

An Invented Family

So as we walked in Shang, and onee-san and her kareshi walked on ahead, the labels came upon us

Of course they are the mom and dad because they were walking ahead leading every one of us, and they both had serious, tired looks. 

I’m the eldest, and Denise is the middle child, and Allan is our baby. Zig is our puppy.

At the backyard of our home are the gabi plant, the cabbage, the eggplant, and other vegetables and fruits. 

Our baby needs to have a nanny but we haven’t hired yet. There is an applicant outside our gate. The applicant is a child soldier. Another applicant came, but we didn’t hire that one either, because this Other Goose might just steal our dad. 

A stray dog barks outside, trying to frighten our puppy, but our puppy is sleepy, and doesn’t care. 

And that is the family we came to invent as we walked out of the mall at closing time

We ended up like a can of sardines in the dad’s car, telling weird stories  

せいざ

Almost all day, I brought with me a certain image. 

せいざ｡

キス｡

いつ? 

Before I Sleep

おやすみ､こいびと｡

Anticipation

“ほしのダイヤも

“うみにねむるしんじゅも

“きっとあなたのキスほど

“きらめくはずないもの”

-いきものがかり

あなた

だいすきてす｡

Lucky Cat

I would consider myself quite lucky yesterday despite the stormy moment. 

It always makes me smile when I remember it. Sometimes, I have to catch my breath.

Waking Up and Wishing to The Winds

I woke up from a power nap a while ago and I woke up agitated. It was like something tugging at your heart and it starts to hurt and so I got up and walked to the big windows at the living room and looked out. The weather is lovely and everything is quiet, like a Japanese garden. Then I just realized I was whispering how I feel and my wishes started tumbling out of my mouth. Suddenly the winds started blowing strongly and I felt how cold it is, then slowly the winds died down. Then I felt it.

It is on its way.

Wish

“なにもいらないのただそばにいて｡”

Meat!

We had lunch in Brazil Brazil today - YUM. I had 3 kinds of beef, chicken, lamb, and salads  

Prior to that, though, I woke up with a very slight pang, and almost allowed myself to be swallowed by it, but I decided that I will get up and be as sunny as the day. Besides, I have wished my wish as I shared with Ikkaku-chan, and my wish still remains intact (Ikkaku-chan told me to be careful what I wish for). I still decide that the wish has not been able to stay put and is frantically itching its way towards me. Anything other than that, will just have to learn how to survive. I believe I have done my part. 

The Storm and The Smile

Kinou wa amai nigai jikan desu. 

ジェラシ ー :(

“Anata saigo no wagamama
“Okuri mono wo nedaru wa
“Nee namida fuku momen no
“hankachiifu kudasai
“hankachiifu kudasai”

Momen no Hankachiifu, Ikimono Gakari

No Names

My sister plurked: wondering whether to work pa or rest na. misses jacob.

I replied: rest and call Emerson.

And again: or call Emerson and rest together.

And again: or rest with Emerson and call Mogget. on the phone.

She said: talaga bang maglagay ng names :O

I replied: ay. o sige. ulit.

I said: rest with Emerson and call the cat. 

(lmao)

NO.

Okay, so I had a dream, a bad one. 

There was some kind of dinner party, and it was because two of our sensei were leaving - Takahashi-sensei and Osuga-sensei. In the dream, I only found out DURING the dinner party itself and I was MORTIFIED. I didn’t eat and I kept running around, trying to find out why and where they are going. And then I was told that Takahashi-sensei was going to go to some cold, snowy place where it is always winter, and then I started considering if I should move there and if I can survive the cold. 

In the next part of the dream, I was watching some kind of documentary about the place, although sometimes it would shift and I would be IN the snowy place and I felt bad that he would have to live in such a bleak place. 

I’m thinking perhaps it’s all the snow and cold in Coraline which I watched last night and the numbing cold and snow in The Golden Compass which I am currenty reading. In any case, it wasn’t a very nice dream AT ALL.

Ohayou!

Slept over last night at my sister’s place after the entire family had dinner at San Jacinto and bought cupcakes from Mom & Tina’s I slept over because she had to work late and so she needed to stay awake, which means I have to be the other person who’s also awake So, I watched Coraline (finally) and liked it, as I ate a perfectly fudgy chocolate banana swirl cupcake with coffee (yum) Then, this morning, she dropped me off again around 7 here at home before she drove off to work. Now I am having breakfast of multigrain bread with Belcube (wait, that part’s finished), cranberry orange cupcake, and coffee Simple joys

And it’s Friday yay! 

Doko Desu Ka

It has been raining a lot lately and it is quite cold. 

I stay indoors and a part of me goes out and seeks. 

Thai Dinner, Korean Dessert

Had dinner at Soms with kendo friends and my sister, after which my sister, holy mao, and I dropped by a nearby Korean mart and bought Pocky-like snacks. I wanted to buy banana-milk but I only saw the poster when we were about to leave, so I decided to just buy next time. But I’m definitely going back Afterwards we went for frap in Starbucks and I bought Danish pastry which ended up as my breakfast this morning

Anyway, last night was pretty short and simple but it was fun and the weather’s really great. Somehow my heart felt fuller.

:D

いま

“Ima sugu mitsukete dakishimete hoshi.”

Taiatari

Hay. Nani kore.

Hehe. 

An imprinted smile.

The sound of laughter. 

And the slight giddiness which lasted very briefly because the scent was so good. And it comes with the wholeness of it. 

On Those Matters

   WUNJO

  (Reversed)

Things are slow in coming to fruition.

Trusting yourself, you cannot fail. 

わたしのこころ

“Nani mo iranai no tada soba ni ite;

“Hizamazuite watashi wo mite,

“Ai wo chikatte”

by Tommy February6

Lovely :D

The weather is so lovely today It’s cloudy but it’s not gloomy; the sun gets to shine down through the clouds every now and then. And it’s kind of windy so it’s not exactly very warm, but the warmth of the sun feels so great on my face

I’m working from my sister’s place so I can see the office buildings in the distance and I can see how perfect the weather is

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